you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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