Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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