Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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