Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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