The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
