Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
