He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
