Me too!
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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