She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
