i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
