I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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