It's Friday. Sex?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
