He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
