Rock
Scissors
Fuck
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
