Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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