I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
pray to the hookup gods
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
