Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
not ubering you a puppy
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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