Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
