Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
