I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
