how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
