Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I want to walk on stilts...naked
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just want to make out with him forever
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
