Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
