She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
