my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
of course. lets lasso hookers.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
