Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
