PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize