This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
