I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
