i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
