your parents love me but you hate me
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
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