Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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