MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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