Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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