everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
