Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
