yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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