I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
