I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
