It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize