I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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