u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize