Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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