Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
