I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
smell my finger.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
