i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
