If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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