and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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