just come out here and I will go home with you...
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
