so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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