: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
