if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
