i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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