The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
