Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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