White coat. Heels.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
