She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize