shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
