ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize