Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize