You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
