This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Randomize
