At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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