Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
