czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
