Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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