Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Randomize
