i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
