Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
