NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
