You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
